The day you roll that stone away…

The day you roll that stone away…
Carolyn Hileman

Perhaps at some time in your life someone has made you feel small, insignificant, worthless some how less than human and today you still live with the repercussions of what that person has done to you, but you and only you can change that, prove them wrong and be the person you were supposed to be. I have seen a lot in my life, a lot I would have rather not seen but with the good there must also be the bad, I come from a family where three of the four girls married drunks whose favorite hobby was beating on them and I confess I was once married to one myself but by the grace of God I left that man and went on to live a much better life. For years I wondered what was so different about me that I was able to walk away and they were not, now as I see my niece and her children going through the same thing I believe I am starting to understand.

Perhaps it was a teacher, a pastor, a baby sitter, or their parents but someone, somewhere along the way made them believe that they deserved no better than that. I am here tonight to tell you that if someone has done that to you they are wrong, you were not put on this earth to be anyone’s punching bag, sounding board or trash, no you were put here for a reason, a reason you may not understand yet, but a reason no less. People tend to blame everyone else for their problems, I saw that close up and personal over last week. What should have been a wonderful time visiting with my daughter while she was on leave, turned into a nightmare for a dear friend and his family and proof to us all that tomorrow is always to late to tell some one you love them.

Our friends Mother and sister was murdered by the sister’s husband, why? Only he could answer that one but from what I have gleaned over this past week he did not want a divorce, he didn’t want to work to keep his marriage together but he did not want a divorce either and so he killed them and then himself all in a matter of seconds. The funeral gave me cause for reflection, I could not help thinking that could have been my family on so many occasions when we would rush to save one of my sisters, and could still be as my niece is still in a really bad relationship and her son and oldest daughter are following right along in her footsteps. The circle never ends it seems.

The cycle cannot ever be broken until you break it, yes it will be hard but it can be done, but first you have to find your worth. You have to believe with your whole heart and soul that you deserve to be treated with dignity and let me tell you regardless of what anyone else tells you, you do. You are not a martyr, for the cause of the unloved, people will not look upon you with pity because you are a victim instead they will wonder why on earth you stayed, the mother and daughter who were murdered had no reason to believe he might become violent, there had been no past history, but for those of you who have lived through the hell, you have every reason to expect that at some point you will be killed.

I am not trying to scare anyone, and the people I am talking to know exactly who they are, get out now. If you will not do it for yourself do it for the children, do it for the ones who love you that you will leave behind, but please do it for yourself. This is way off track from what I usually write but I feel as though I am talking to someone tonight who really needs to hear this. You are a very special person, deserving of life and love and don’t let anyone tell you any different. You deserve everything life has to offer you, you and you alone can take that first step to freedom, it may be as simple as going back home to your parents or you may have to go to another state, you may even have to reach out to one of the many services available to you, but reach out, take that hand and crawl out of the whole and breath the fresh air of freedom it is there and it is waiting for you. For those of you who are staying because you believe it is a sin to leave, suicide is also a sin and if you stay in a relationship that you know could get you killed it is in effect suicide. Today is your day, the day you roll that stone away…